I'm so awkward, they named a creature of the sea after me. #awktopus

Kelsey | 22 | TX | Former Barista

Lover of life | Mother of kittens

whitewhine:

Yesterday’s game, today’s problem

whitewhine:

Yesterday’s game, today’s problem

Anonymous asked:

omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???

joleebindo:

the-kellin-under-the-vic:

This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material

it’s like rock paper scissors: baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby

yourbaristaprobablyhatesyou:

I havent had a well made espresso drink since I left the company. 

If you’re in the DFW area and know what you’re doing, hit me up with when and where you work. I need a fix. 

Man I wish I hadn’t just left or else I’d totally make you an awesome drink.

severalbadpunslater:

whoreoscopes:

doomf:

That’s a cute foot fetish you got there, would you mind keeping it 25796323689432 feet away from me?

25796323689432 feet you say?

image

this is literally my favorite post on tumblr

(Source: andrewbelami)

What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? THIS GUY!

(Source: rainnwillson)

nannersammich asked:

Today a guy came in and ordered a venti nonfat mocha. This guy comes in probably once a week and I recognized his face but I have a lot of customers, so I didn't remember his name for the cup. He rolled his eyes and said it (this isn't his real name): "DAY. VID. Maybe eventually you'll remember it. " I covered up my name tag and said "okay, what's MY name?" He was silent for a second then said "uh...well now I feel like a jackass." That's right motherfucker, the world doesn't revolve around you.

fifty-shadesofgay:

the bible said Adam and Eve not Ted and Robin